You came to me crying mommy!
Yet, the moment it became inconvenient, you walk away.
Saying that it isn’t real, not what you want.
Your indiscriminate love is scary,
Terrifying to the world of me.
The strength of me fails in the face of the constant onslaught of rage, hate, anger.
Nothing you say is real,
Leaving me in the smoke of your anger,
The mire of shit that you call love, without a clue as to what you really want.
Nothing that is real touches or does these things in a life that has always been one that needs,
Nay requires that all be balanced and even.
The foul stench of rotting emotional garbage,
Stretching out around your so called love,
Never allowing anything to clean it,
Never letting anyone purify the soul that you have filled with this muck,
And you wonder why I run?
You call me mommy when my wallet is full,
My home is nice,
The perception is that you believe that you have some right,
As if I owe you more than the life I gave you at the expense of my sanity,
My dreams, my love, and my deepest needs.
The life I gave freely, designed to be loved,
Cherished and longed for,
Yet soiled, beyond the horrifying depths of the pits that some call hell.
Never realizing, never knowing that you chose this pit, this slime,
Over the easy emotional response of a person that can love you,
That needs nothing from you beyond simple respect and the ability to communicate,
Simply for a paper or coin that means almost nothing beyond the necessary things in life.
And you wonder why I run?
You called me mommy,
And I have never considered, never even thought that your rage at another would be so toxic,
Invading this world,
To this place that I created out love,
Out of balance and beauty,
To simply fill it with the drains of pus, slimy and green with poisons,
Seeping out of your emotional baggage,
Drenching my world with illness and anger,
Never healing wounds that ooze and burst anew,
The words spoken without thought,
Creating more and more wounds that never heal,
That ooze and eventually, as must be,
You wonder why I run.
(c) Lori Trevino 10-21-2015