This week was my niece’s wedding. She married a young man that loves her and whom she loves. They have been in love from the first time they met…. and yet, they didn’t marry or date immediately. Either way, this marriage was lovely and, with perseverance, faith and love it will endure. But what about the people that were included in this wondrous event? The bridal party? The Grooms men and woman? What about the families? What about the women that surrounded this young woman in her life changing event?
Well, let’s see. There was me, obviously. I gave the only gift that no one else could. I gave my wedding rings to her to wear, hopefully, for at least the amount of time I did – 32 years. I did all the right things organizing, etc. and was duly excited to be part of this event. I was, in truth a bit envious of her joy, but not truly jealous or spiteful as some could be. I miss my late husband, but am very happy that she will carry forward our tradition of love and respect.
The mother of the bride, my sister, was excited, delighted, thrilled and sad. She made the gown that her only daughter wore and it was beautiful. I knew it would be. She cried, which she never does really, and she laughed and was happy. She enjoyed the young women that my niece has surrounded herself with and their laughter was something that lifted her spirits. It was beautiful to watch and bittersweet since I have never had these events with the only child I had. But it remained something I would not have missed for the world.
The bridesmaids – her best friend here is a young woman who is very quiet, and a bit unusual, considering her size and height. But she is beautiful with gorgeous eyes and a good heart. Very smart, but prone to thinking things over many times before acting. Which isn’t a bad trait at all. The other three ladies in the event were ones I met for the first time and they included others that were also special and wonderful.
One, outspoken and strong, made me laugh and made my heart heavy for her. Her life is complicated and her ability to deal is epic. I will always respect and like her, I think. She didn’t take anything from anyone and it was not in a mean way, but firm and well done. One, strong and well rounded, so very different from her peers and yet, she fit so well with the group. I admired her.
The last, the grooms woman, was amazing, sweet and very nice. Her girlfriend was a lovely girl that I could see why they were together. I liked her a lot. She was amazing.
Then, there was the “adopted” mother of the groom. She is older, a bit wild, but she loves him as a son and has been very nice to my niece. She makes an awesome “Bucket Salad” – I am seriously considering begging for the recipe.
The hair dresser I could have skipped….. while she may have been a friend to one of the ladies involved, I did not care for her or her judgmental, rude ways. She made the maid of honor weep (inside) and the bride uncomfortable. She insulted the mother of the bride and me….. I wear dentures, and it was early so of course my teeth were not in and it was busy busy in my kitchen. She commented, after she saw me dressed how pretty I was with my teeth in – I commented back “I know! But I am always a pretty woman!”
The rest of them, I will leave alone…..mostly because it will serve no purpose and it will hurt people needlessly. But, as you can see this group of people was very diverse and, particularly the women, I watched them carefully. I wanted to understand something.
Why can’t we be supportive of each other? I don’t mean agree with every word or pretend that someone looks good with the nasty bed head and cheddar teeth…. but when someone is nice, tell them so! When you feel a warmth to another person, be kind, not critical!
With women this seems particularly hard. It is as if we are so afraid that the other person is going to “steal” some attention or be “prettier” than we are that we don’t see the truth at all. Everyone gets attention for different things…. be it someone just likes them or they did something nice or they are interesting to look at, aesthetically pleasing… etc. You can’t steal those things and no one is prettier than anyone else, except inside. Because everyone sees you differently than everyone else.
Women, the only part of the species that has allowed themselves to be cowed. To be bought and sold for millennium by the males of our species…. they should stand together. But they don’t. They sell each other as fast as males do and with more callous ways than a man does.
Why can’t we stand together? Why can’t we see this is why we are not able to be equal to our counterparts? Sigh.